EQ = The ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.
As our thoughts this month turn to mental health and what we can do to enhance both our home and professional lifestyles, I’m intrigued by the role EQ plays in helping us navigate the uncertainties of our crazy, post-pandemic world.
Way back in 1995, we were first introduced to the concepts of EQ by Daniel Goleman. The idea that the ability to understand and manage emotions increases our chances of success was widely received and influences the way we think about emotions and human behavior.
What I’ve always loved about the concept of EQ vs IQ vs Personality is that, unlike IQ and Personality, you can improve your EQ – once you know what your trigger points are and avoid what we call Emotional Hijacking.
When emotional hijacking takes place, the limbic area in our brain (fight or flight) is working faster than the rational area, thus overtaking rational thought. Acting before thinking.
Recognizing the potential to improve your EQ provides a foundation for managing pressure effectively, both at home and in the workplace. While you may not have control over the emotions you experience in the moment, you can certainly control how you respond to them.
There are so many tips that you can employ to enhance your ability to improve your EQ in your everyday life. Here are a few tips that I am working on myself:
- 6-SECOND PAUSE. When you find yourself in a situation where you can feel your heckles rising, take a moment to stop and think before you speak. Allow yourself the space to make a conscious decision about what to do or say next. Easy in theory, difficult in practice! I find that if I pick up my pen or coffee cup, it gives my brain time to gather my thoughts. This physical action acts as a cue for me. Pausing helps you refrain from making a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.
- PRAISE OTHERS AND DEMONSTRATE EMPATHY. All humans crave acknowledgement and appreciation. When you recognize others, in any way, you satisfy that craving and build trust in the process. Instead of judging or labeling others, work hard to see things through their eyes. Empathy does not necessarily mean agreeing with another person’s point of view. Rather, it’s about striving to understand where they are coming from – which allows you to build deeper, more connected relationships.
- APOLOGIZE. It can take strength and courage to be able to say you’re sorry, but doing so demonstrates humility. EQ helps you realize that apologizing doesn’t always mean you are wrong, but it does mean valuing your relationship more than your ego.
- KEEP YOUR COMMITMENTS. When you develop a habit of keeping your word, in things big and small, you develop a strong reputation for reliability and trustworthiness.
I challenge you to set yourself a goal to improve one component and monitor it. See if it makes a difference in your relationships and gives you peace of mind. I’d love to hear from you – what tips can you share?
If you wish to find out more about EQ, here is a great resource: https://maven.com/articles/best-books-on-emotional-intelligence.
In today’s red hot candidate market, candidates are interviewing potential employers as much as clients are interviewing them. Candidates are vetting companies to find out if they are flexible, value driven and supportive. They are unafraid to voice their need for assurance that there is a platform for employees to openly share their ideas and concerns. It’s usually easy to quickly assess that a candidate has the practical skills and experience to get the job done, the intangible “fit” for the role and team is harder.
At Harvard Group International, we use EQ and situational questions to dig deeper to assess candidates’ EQ to ensure more successful hires, stronger teams, and better business outcomes. If you would like to understand more, please reach out!
